Big Bo

Last week my son had a career day at school. The grand prop and distinguished guest was Bo Pilgrim. What he told me about Bo's speech set off my triggers instantly. It floored me and I wanted to promptly kick some pilgrim ass.

He bragged about how much he loves GWB, how he's even had him over for dinner, emphasized how important it is that we protect ourselves from the terrorists and how noble it is to go to war for freedom, that the only reason for his success is Jesus Christ, attempted to hand out bibles ( as related, he was blocked by school staff from that action), and then handed out free copies of his crap book. They had to watch patriotic chicken films as well (from what I gather).

First, son ditched the book which was a big oops. That thing is selling for 16.99 on the internet. He could have made a few bucks not to mention I would just love to read the thoughts of the mutant Bo and see how well they line up with other propaganda. In fact I really just wanted the collection of pictures in the book for assorted graphic shennanigans.

Henrietta. That's the chicken that's Bo's pet. I asked son if the mutant had his hat and his chicken. He did! This prompted me to question the aging of chickens. Is this in fact the same Henrietta? My logic tells me that a chicken killing factory mogul probably has Henrietta slain when she starts to droop around the eyes. Kind of like people who get different dogs but always end up naming them the same ( really, they're out there).

But then a thought occured to me. "Did Henrietta move at all?" I asked. No he said, no come to think of it, not at all he said. There's another breed of people who have their pets glorified at the taxidermists. The Pooky will be with us forever people. They freak me out. Like really freak me out. I can't imagine going to dinner at a strangers house and seeing their old dog dead and stuffed and propped up next to the couch. So, the next logical progression arose. Henrietta might just be a dead chicken. If a chicken doesn't even blink, scratch, poop on Bo's hand, ... I think it's dead.

We, I believe, have wound up with an interesting investigation. How many Henriettas are there or how long has the chicken been dead and stuffed? Does he keep an extra in his hat?

What it all boils down to is this. For career day the inspirational speech was given by some old geezer in a big dumb hat holding a chicken, the chicken fondling mutant also served as a mouthpiece for political support of govcorp, and a way to make a quick 14.99 was ditched under an auditorium chair.

The highlight ( and good thing) is that son really digs photography and photo journalism after a session with a pro in that area. I guess bo was just the morbid entertainment segment.


... additional notes on this thing...

Bo Pilgrims book at an online Christian type shoppe

A Memorandum On Hurricane Rita from the mutant

September 22, 2005


TO: All Partners of Pilgrim's Pride
FROM: Bo, O.B., Clint and All Executive Management
SUBJECT: Storm Rita

Texas Governor Rick Perry called me on my cell phone yesterday to discuss the worst category 5 monster/hurricane storm which is headed toward Texas and what we can do to be prepared.

Our conclusion was that we should turn to our Lord and Savior in prayer because this storm appears to be beyond man's capacity to quiet or manage.

Therefore, O.B., Clint and I and all the executive management are declaring a state of emergency here in our Texas operations and surrounding states.

Citing the storm Rita as an emergency and the help of the Lord and prayer as the most effective resource to deal with the crisis:

• Please read first Proverbs 24:10 (Good News Bible)


• Jonah 1:1-17, 2:1-10, 3:1-10 (GNB)


• Mark 4:35-41 (GNB)


• We are asking for a time of prayer throughout the company


• Thursday 3:00 pm Central Time


• Friday 3:00 pm Central Time


• Saturday 10:00 am Central Time


• Sunday 11:00 am Central Time

God we need your help. Please intervene, bless and protect Pilgrim's Pride, bless our partners, growers and all their families and any and all effected, regardless of their location or residence, by Hurricane Rita.


The Mutant Inspires Children

"This explains why Pilgrim often includes in a small inspirational book a $20 bill. He can only pray the youngsters will read the scripture that surrounds it, something seldom seen in a public school setting. Pilgrim explained, "It has to be free choice. They have to go get it. I think we need to step up to the challenge. It's getting ridiculous what you can say and can't say."

A letter to the mutant from PETA
http://www.peta.org/feat/moorefield/page/pilgrims_prideNEW.pdf



Officials struggle to halt global poultry consumption decline