Ok, deluxe technical drawings and a technical manual on how to make a bamboo didgeridoo.



How To Make A Bamboo Didgeridoo

A bumptious man dismissed a dervish
by shouting at him:"Nobody knows
you here."
"But I know myself," the dervish
replied. "How sad it would be if the
reverse were true."

Attar of Neishapur


Buzzmachines. I've added this link but it comes with a forewarn. If you are not familiar with trackers/hex I'd recommend starting out with the basic package and doing some reading. It's a good learning experience and ultimately a very powerful tool for making some music. ....and its free. As a small courtesy;however, I've made donations to some of the makers of the machines for time spent with C++ or in the very least send a cool postcard thanking them for their time. They kick butt.

I find this amusing in a sense of antiquity. It is hard for me to believe that at one time someone would actually respond to such a flagrant debasement of a human being. Perhaps in a more present tense the ad would read a little differently: You can nail a penny with a 9mm from a hundred yards, you have a blackbelt, you don't give a rat's rump about frequent flyer miles as long as the company pays you instead of lays you off, you can smile and say f-you at the same time, you can deal with multitudes of overfed, over self -important, rude, and arrogant citizens and not die of a heart attack by the time you are 40, if this is you we might give you a job if you sleep with the boss.

Naturally, if something like this were to appear in todays media I would happily sit back with popcorn while the ladies drug the one responsible hither to tither over a bed of alchohol soaked nails.

Still
The sirens have been silenced
The barons in the ashes
Have turned to to the earth
That war is done now
and let us embrace integrity in it's failure
and walk the long mile home
like dirty children
on a pilgrimage to the river

One fine day.............

"ACHILLES: Gee! That is an amazing wraparound. They were completely unconscious of what they were participating in. Their acts could be seen as part of a pattern on a higher level, but of course they were completely unaware of that. Ah, what pity-a supreme irony, in fact-that they missed it.

CRAB: You are right, Mr. T-that was a lovely organ point.

ANTEATER: I had never heard one before, but that one was so conspicuous that no one could miss it. Very effective.

ACHILLES: What? Has the organ point already occurred? How can I not have noticed it, if it was so blatant?

TORTOISE: Perhaps you were so wrapped up in what you were saying that you were completely unaware of it. Ah, what a pity-a supreme irony,in fact-that you missed it.

CRAB: Tell me does Aunt Hillary live in an anthill?"

Douglas R. Hofstadter 'Prelude...Ant Fugue' from the book The Mind's I

Winter Fun

Winter. I only know this in relative terms to what's on the television. Today, a t-shirt, I have no hair, I am bald now. One week ago I took up the tradition again of shaving my head in the 'dead' of winter. Only, it's 65 degrees out, so it doesn't matter. People here wear big coats anyway and tell me to put a hat on. I am oblivious and unafraid of the southern winter. In Thailand they put on big coats when it's 85 out. Winter.
I seeded a sinister plan in the mind of a young man today. I proposed the idea of building a melted frosty the snowman decoration for his front yard. Seems simple enough, a couple of white trash bags, some holiday snow spray goop stuff, some sparklies, a carrot, two chunks of coal, a couple of sticks resembling limbs, and some superglue and epoxy spray. The terrible fate of Frosty in the South. He was delighted with this idea and promptly decided that when it was all finished he would present it to his mother; my ex-wife. I encourage a healthy exploration of boundaries with his mom.

Ahhhhhh the holiday spirit. Here's an idea for a gift to someone whom you've been wanting revenge on all year. I have done this and it's not pretty, but it's quite satisfying. Give the gift of hand lotion to a woman you don't like. Replace the hand lotion with instant suntan lotion. Yes, it works. This is excellent office subversion, can be done anonymously, and it beats trying to poop in someones shoe or desk drawer. For a man, I'd suggest some sort of aftershave cream. .... but I've never tried it on a man and I know how I am about aftershave cream. I'd probably just smile, carry it home and chunk it. So, on second thought, if it's a guy, just poop in his shoe or desk drawer, or front porch. Attach a gift tag, Merry Christmas.

Er, um, and , Kelly, Hastings Girl, I promise I'm working on re-defining that free christmas c.d. you guys hand out. Sant will have some new tunes by the eve. Heck , I'll even burn a few, copy the covers, shrink wrap em, and replace the ones that you have sitting there right now. Ho Ho Ho. Now, If I can just get a clip of Dubya saying 'Santa Claus'. I already have 'I' and 'hate'. .... hey, it says under the logo that it's my entertainment store.

I've buried my dog bowser today and decided to get a little liquored on Fat Tire ale. God bless Bowser the mighty Beagle dog. He was old and tired. This morning the buzzards were circling him, it was time. Somewhere I have a picture of him eating pancakes. He would jump for pancakes. He'd eat just about anything. For the past week he hadn't eaten anything. It was time to go. I'll miss my buddy.

Halibut Donut 2 am
Shuffling feet swallowed by the night
Off to deep dreams towards
tomorrows reasons