12.17.2003

Ahhhhhh the holiday spirit. Here's an idea for a gift to someone whom you've been wanting revenge on all year. I have done this and it's not pretty, but it's quite satisfying. Give the gift of hand lotion to a woman you don't like. Replace the hand lotion with instant suntan lotion. Yes, it works. This is excellent office subversion, can be done anonymously, and it beats trying to poop in someones shoe or desk drawer. For a man, I'd suggest some sort of aftershave cream. .... but I've never tried it on a man and I know how I am about aftershave cream. I'd probably just smile, carry it home and chunk it. So, on second thought, if it's a guy, just poop in his shoe or desk drawer, or front porch. Attach a gift tag, Merry Christmas.

Er, um, and , Kelly, Hastings Girl, I promise I'm working on re-defining that free christmas c.d. you guys hand out. Sant will have some new tunes by the eve. Heck , I'll even burn a few, copy the covers, shrink wrap em, and replace the ones that you have sitting there right now. Ho Ho Ho. Now, If I can just get a clip of Dubya saying 'Santa Claus'. I already have 'I' and 'hate'. .... hey, it says under the logo that it's my entertainment store.